A journalist for The Times newspaper has suggested that Karl is a Gervais/Merchant creation and that the shows are entirely scripted much to Ricky’s amusement. An interview Karl gave to Zoo magazine comes back to haunt him.

Karl moans about the wedding he went to the previous week and Steve is upset about buying gifts for newly weds. Karl tells a classic anecdote about meeting a Down’s syndrome kid on a train.

Loads of Knob News this week including “Man grows penis on his arm”. The guys discuss “Pinball Wizard” by The Who and Karl wonders whether it’s better to lose your hearing or sight.

Train Paralympics

Karl: I remember, I was on a, I don't know of this is alright to talk about, I mean it happened, so you know. Ricky: Of course it's alright to talk about, everything's alright to talk about. Karl: But I was on the train right, coming from Manchester back to London right, and got on it, it was like a Friday night and it was heaving, you know like the last train is and all that, and absolutely chocker. Steve: Yeah. Karl: So I'm walking through the carriages, thinking "oh, is there any seats?", anyway it's heaving right, there's people stood up in the doorways, you can't get in the toilet and all that, there's not gonna be any chair knocking about, walking through and anyway I see this one empty chair sort of in front of me, right, thinking "why isn't there anyone sat there, i'll rush to that, get to that, i'll get me self a seat", plump me self down, right, and sort of turn round, see who I'm facing, you know, see who i'll be havin a chat with, little fella there, right, little down syndrome kid. Steve: Right. Karl: Sat there and he goes "you alright?", and I thought "ohhh", not bad but d'you know what I mean they're always talking aren't they, ask a lot of questions. Steve & Ricky: (laugh) Karl: So I was like "ohhh, here we go, 2 and half hours", and I couldn't get up because the thing is that's obvious. Steve: Sure. Karl: So that's like mean, I don't, I never wanna be mean, d'you know what I mean, at the end of the day. Steve: No. Karl: So anyway I think "I know, i'll go to sleep". Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Clever. Karl: Right so I shut me eyes and he leaves me alone n' that, so then me phone goes and I think "right, what do I do, do I ignore it, or do I open me eyes and see who it is?" Ricky: (laughs) Karl: Anyway I open me eyes, it's Ricky calling, about somethin, about nothin probably, actually thinking about, it probably wasn't even worth answering, right, so anyway but I'm awake now aren't I, so he's like "hello", and I'm like "alright mate", and he says "you're muscely". Ricky & Steve: (laugh out loud) Ricky: (laughs) Oh God! Right, yeah. Karl: And I said "yeah, yeah, yeah", you know "why?", so I says "I dunno, just am", again stressing me out coz I'm thinking "why am I, why am I muscely?", I don't go to the gym, you know, I'm not muscely, I'm in good shape n' that. Steve: Well. Karl: So then he wants an arm wrestle. Ricky & Steve: (laugh) Karl: On a crammed train from Manchester, so I've got another hour and a half of this. Ricky: (laughs) Why didn't you talk back, he'd soon of got up and left, if you'd have started asking him some questions, he'd have got up and left with some of the drivel you come out with. Karl: So anyway, d'you know when your under pressure you're thinking "well he's said that I'm muscely, right, so do I do it or not?", and there's people watching, you know, not joining in not sort of havin a laugh n' that with me, just like watching but pretending they're not. Ricky: Oh God! Karl: And I'm at one of those table seats and he kept saying "c'mon I want to arm wrestle", and he was getting louder so I thought "oh, I best just have an arm wrestle". Ricky: (laughs out loud) What do you mean! What do you mean "I best just have an arm wrestle"! What do you mean? Karl: Get it over and done with, I had to, if hes' gonna keep asking, I had another hour and a half on the train. Ricky: Oh God, oh my God, I'm thinking who won. Steve: Yeah, were people putting bets on? Karl: It was stopped, it's just as well really. Ricky: What do you mean it was stopped! Steve: How violent was it getting! Karl: No, no, he sort of, he was winning, I was struggling a bit, right, and he was really like, you know, taking me arm down then he sort of let go and started laughing, and I thought "thank God he let go", d'you know what I mean, if I had lost that, everyone's in the train looking and all the rest of it. Ricky: (laughs) I like that it's suddenly serious, he's gotta win this, "Pilkington, Pilkington". Karl: But then he just, then we were chatting about favourite food n' that, he likes sausages. Ricky: (sniggers) Karl: And he said "do you like sausages?", I said "yeah they're alright, I like a bit of Chinese and that as well", and he's saying "oh, I can't have Chinese, not allowed Chinese". Ricky: Why? Karl: Dunno, he just said he's not allowed to have it, but yeah I had a good long chat about stuff n' that. Steve: So you enjoyed it in the end? Karl: In the end it was alright, yeah. Ricky: What did you...okay. Karl: No but it's that thing innit, it's whenever you're faced with somethin different, it's always awkward innit and that's the thing. Ricky: You talking about him now or you? Karl: I think I did alright coz everyone else was ignoring him, but I probably made his day pretty good.