Steve tries to make Ricky laugh by showing him a picture of Michael Stipe with obvious results. The guys learn that Zoe Ball will be taking over the show while they’re away. Ricky wonders if she’ll get paid more than him.

Steve is worried about his fitness so him and his flatmate workout to a Helen from Big Brother video. He also tells an anecdote about a very uncool extra he spoke to during the week and the guys discuss old episodes from the TV show “Tales of the Unexpected”.

Karl has some fantastic ideas to brighten up funerals before launching into his infamous “Horse in the House” anecdote.

Funeral

Karl: I don't like the way everything's morbid, it's like you know the way in birthday cards n' that people always put funny things in them, I think you should save things like that for funerals, for like funeral cards and that, and try and cheer people up at times when they're low, coz on your birthday you're quite happy anyway, so you don't need someone putting a funny comment in a card. Ricky: What would you suggest? Whoopy cushion on the vicar's chair? How would you liven up a funeral? Karl: Just little things in the card I mean, writing stuff like "well at least you're still alive". Ricky: Oh that would be good! So when someone's husband is killed in a car crash, you go round with some flowers and a little card and it says "at least you're still alive". Karl: Well maybe somethin funnier than that.

Horse in the House

Steve: What did you make of the first genetically modified baby? Are you worried about this? Karl: Do you know, what do they do? Ricky: Well isn't it just choosing the eye color or... Steve: This is the concern isn't it, that in the future you'll be able to decide whether it's a boy or a girl, how intelligent it is, what it looks like, is it handsome is it ugly, obviously no one would choose an ugly baby, and so on and so on and so on, and so where will it lead, where will it end Karl? Are you concerned? Ricky: What will us three look like in the future, if there's genetically modified beautiful people, what will we be like, how will we be considered in society? Karl: That's right yeah, but we've talked about this before haven't we, about the cloning thing, how it's a bit weird, but I don't think it matters because at the end of the day you might look like some another kid but it's the way you're brought up that will change you're features and the way you are, your personality. Ricky: If you lie you get a long nose don't you. Karl: No, but listen right, coz I remember when I was growing up on this estate. Ricky: This is gonna be good. Karl: No, no it's not, it's just an example of how this doesn't work, so we dont need to worry sort of thing. So growing up on this estate and there was this woman about four houses down right, a bit rough... Ricky: You didn't fancy her? Karl: Oh god no. Ricky: Why? Well tell me about her first, I'm interested in this woman, did she look like Bernard Manning in a dress? Karl: I didn't grow up in a posh house or anything and I'm not saying that if you live in a bit of a rough house you're a bad person. Ricky: What did she look like, tattoos? Bit like Tony Green with a fag on? Karl: They didn't clean up much right, which even if you've not got a lot of money you can still try and make a place look nice. Ricky: Get some jif, yeah. Karl: But she didn't and her kid used to take a horse into the house. Ricky: Sorry! Steve: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ricky: Yeah, whoa Neddy, whoa Neddy, what do you mean her kid used to take a horse into the house? Where did they get a horse? Karl: Must've nicked it from somewhere. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: What was that from outside the saloon around the corner? Ricky: (laughs) Yeah was it just tied up, oh that's great, did big Jake come a' lookin for it? Steve: This was before the lynching stopped or after? Ricky: (laughs out loud) Where did he get a horse from! What d'you mean he must've nicked it? His mum said "where did you get that from?", "I bought it", "alright then, well keep it out the kitchen". Steve: "I don't want you going cattle rustling". Ricky: (laughs out loud) Where did he get a horse from Karl! And how long did he have it for? Was he leading it or riding it? "Mum open the door, I can't stop it!" Steve: "I cant stop it! Open the patio door as well!". Ricky: "Looks like we got us a runaway!". What do you mean! Karl: I don't know but the thing is they couldn't afford to buy one coz they're not cheap, so I'm just guessin, maybe that's wrong of me. Steve: He had a horse! That's why the family didn't have any money, they'd spent it on the horse. Ricky: Exactly. Karl: (says quietly) That's what I'm saying, I don't think they would've bought it. Steve: Yeah it's wise to whisper Karl in case they're listening. Ricky: (laughs) And it's not buying it, it's keeping it as well. Karl: So I was in the car with me dad coming into the avenue and you used to have to drive down it to turn round, and you know sort of go back to our house. Ricky: You had the traditional method of transport. Karl: And the horse was in the lounge. Ricky: Reading a paper. Karl: Just like walking around. Ricky: (laughs) Oh god!