England have just won the Rugby World Cup much to the lad’s enjoyment. The guys reminisce about playing sport at school which Steve found difficult because of his glasses.

Ricky plays back an abusive phone message he received from Karl and Steve moans about being propositioned by a prostitute while on his mobile. Karl attacks Steve’s appearance yet again this time via an anecdote from a friend.

Karl talks about “Ivor the Terrible” and the “bloke who painted that ceiling”. He also features in the film “Pulp Fiction” but can’t come up with any monkey news this week.

Steve Gets Propositioned

Steve: I was walking away from the show last week, I was walking towards Berwick Street, I like to look at the records there. Ricky: Sure. Steve: And I was on my mobile phone and I was chatting away to someone when what can only be described as a prostitute stood on the street... Ricky: Go on, was she a woman that gives you sex for money? Steve: Yeah. Ricky: That is a prostitute. Steve: (laughs) Yes, that's what I thought. Ricky: Go on. Steve: And as I was walking by said "d'you wanna buy sex?" Ricky: (laughs) Are you sure it wasn't a market trader giving six plums away? Steve: No, it was definitely a prostitute. Ricky: Go on. Steve: And what annoyed me about it, I wanted to pick her up on something, was the fact that I was on my mobile phone. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Can you imagine, what am I gonna hang up, "sorry mum, can I call you back, you know you say you want me to meet more women". Ricky: "And you know you sent me that 30 quid for my birthday". Steve: (laughs) Exactly, yeah, yeah. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: "Sorry Mr Johnson, I'm really excited about the job, can I call you back I'm just gonna negotiate with a whore". Ricky: (laughs) Steve: And it was like you could tell that she was clearly probably desperate for crack, or her latest fix of smack so she was literally, the normal etiquette of prostitution, you know they hang around, they show some thigh, I've seen this in films. Ricky: They woo ya. Steve: Yeah, exactly, take you out for a meal, that sort of thing, that sort of had gone out the window and she was just there, desperate, running around the streets. Ricky: Did she go out of a window, coz that another thing they sometimes do, specialist ones. Steve: But I was shocked because i'd never been propositioned before, like that, in London. Ricky: Really, that's weird innit, Karl, thoughts? Karl: I think you'd sort of be approached a lot, because they tend to sort of go for people who look like they haven't got much chance. Ricky: (sniggers) Steve: Sure. Karl: And I'm not being mean. Steve: No, no, no, no, no. Ricky: Sorry, in what way aren't you not being mean by saying that Steve... Karl: No, Steve knows he's a little bit odd looking. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Karl: No, he does. Ricky: No but it's not what he thinks of his looks, it's what he thinks of you talking about his looks. Karl: No but it's like how you were talking before about, you know, your eyes are bad, it's nature's little way of saying "look, nothing to see here", right. Ricky: (laughs out loud) I don't get that! Steve: (laughs) What do you mean? Karl: When you look in the mirror and that they've gone "look, he hasn't got the looks, let's make his eyes bad", right, nothing to see here. Steve: Yeah. Karl: That's what I'm saying, balancing it out, right, it's funny right, now we're on the topic... Steve: Sorry Johnny Depp! Ricky: (laughs) I'm gonna, my chest is gonna burst. Steve: Whenever we get on to this conversation I always think to myself "Karl, do you know what you look like?" Ricky: (laughs) I am gonna burst. Steve: Seriously, can I be honest with you, you look like, you know if you get a balloon, a hot air balloon, right, just a little balloon, like a party balloon, if you drew a little face on it, right, and inflated it about half way, that's what you look like. Ricky: (laughs) Karl: Right. Steve: No, play a record, I don't wanna get into this, this is too intense. Karl: Now you've got onto this, let's just nip it in the bud now, i'll tell you somethin that I wasn't gonna tell you. Steve: I don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna hear it. Karl: Well, right I was on the tube, right, well I wasn't, someone told me they were on the tube, right, and the tube pulled into a station, right, and one of the women saw the poster that's out at the moment with you and Ricky on it, right, so this woman apparently goes "oh look there's Ricky, Ricky's on the radio", right, and the other woman goes "oh yeah, don't you listen to it", so she goes "no, I didn't know it was on the radio", and she goes "ooh..." Ricky: (laughs) I'm sorry Steve, I'm sorry, it didn't sound this bad when... Karl: "Look at that person she's with", so she goes "yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Steve", she said "I'm kind of, I was sort of aware that he looked odd because Karl mentions it on the radio". Steve: Yeah. Karl: So she says "it wasn't so much of a blow to me, but I can see how it was a bit of a shock to you". Steve: Yeah. Karl: So that's weird innit. Steve: Yeah. Karl: And that isn't me sort of telling this woman to say anything, that was all happened without anybody else sort of bringing it on. Steve: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Karl: D'you know what I mean? Steve: Yeah. Ricky: Sorry, you seem to be relishing this, was it because the little balloon story, that made you... Karl: Honestly Steve, I wouldn't have told you but if you're gonna start, you know, havin a pop. Steve: Yeah. Karl: D'you know what I mean? I can't just sit here and take it n' that. Steve: Sure, no, no. Ricky: I mean, all mates? Steve: Yeah. Ricky: I mean I was mistaken for Johnny Vegas, Steve's got a story about that if wanna have a go at me. Steve: Well, someone just thought you were fat with a beard, which is true. Ricky: Well don't have a go at me just coz he said... Steve: Well you started it. Ricky: No I didn't. Steve: You were milking it. Ricky: I was laughing. Steve: You were egging him on. Ricky: I sort of was. Steve: Yeah. Ricky: But let's not, you know. Steve: Ooh it's a good job you've got lots of good mates like Jonathan Ross to hang out with, you don't need other friends, people who've helped you in your career. Ricky: He's a good looking bloke isn't he Jonathan Ross? Karl: He's a good looking fella. Ricky: Play a record.