Karl has decided to come back after the management at XFM gave him Mondays off much to Ricky and Steve’s annoyance. The listener’s opinions about Ricky’s laugh are divided, Steve gives us a little taster of Ricky’s laugh by showing him a picture of every boy’s fantasy.

Steve is annoyed about the recent postal strike and wonders what strikes would have the least impact on society. He also talks about his embarrassment at having to deal with toilet attendants.

Karl is unhappy about his girlfriend’s haircut and is asked what would make him happy. Ricky breaks the terrible news that Shed Seven have broken up and Karl talks about a man having a penis grown on his arm.

Happiness

Steve: Right Karl, it's a questionnaire about happiness. Karl: Oh yeah. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Well that should answer right there, first question Karl, of a happy scale of 1 to 10, where are you on the happy scale? Ricky: Is it at this moment or in general? Steve: Well I would say generally. Ricky: Okay. Karl: You but you don't always have to like, I mean I think I'm happy 'n that but I don't always show it. Steve: You never show it. Karl: No but it doesn't mean I'm not happy 'n that, like I'm alright at the moment, i'd say I'm probably on a, I was probably on about an eight, I was probably on about a nine when I woke up, right, and then sort of fell out with Suzanne over her haircut, right, went for an haircut and came back with something I didn't like. Steve: (laughs) Ricky: Sorry what did you say, so when your girlfriend walked in the door, she'd had her hair done, you said "I don't like it, alright", did you say that? Karl: Well she could tell by the look on me face. Ricky: But didn't you say "I'm happy with it, you just can't tell, I'm lovin it". Karl: But then she might have it done again. Ricky: Oh Karl, I just cannot get over you. Karl: No but you haven't seen it, right, so then I was fed up... Steve: Sorry what authority have you got to talk about haircuts? Ricky: Yeah, you had the, well officially from a barber in Manchester above a railway station in a shack that was £2 a cut, told you you had the hair of a Chinaman, well you wish you had the hair of a Chinaman now, you've got no hair now, you're a little bald Manc with your mouth open, is she listening to this Suzanne, sitting at home with a wooly hat on? Steve: (laughs) Karl: I dunno, well she knows now doesn't she. Steve: What did you say? Karl: I just said you look like someone out of Slade. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: Interestingly that's what I look for in a girlfriend. Ricky: (laughs) Oh God! Steve: Which one of Slade? Karl: That one with the funny hair. Ricky: Not Dave Hill? Karl: Yeah. Ricky: The one with the crooked fringe and goofy teeth, she had her teeth done as well did she, she had two front teeth put in? Steve: Dump her. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: So prior to that you were on a nine, then you saw the haircut you were on an eight. Karl: Yeah. Steve: Now what are you on? Karl: I'm probably on about a six at the moment. Ricky: Why, what's happened? Karl: Well, while Starsailor was on, bit more head squeezing going on. Ricky: (laughs) Karl: So yeah, about a five or a six. Steve: So generally speaking what would you say you are on? Karl: About a four. Ricky: (laughs out loud)