It’s the last show of the season and Karl doesn’t want to come back. Karl went to Ricky’s place the previous night and had to endure watching him dance around in his underwear plus being wrestled to the ground.

“Knob News” this week includes the smallest ever penis and Karl pleasuring a Roman Emperor. Steve is annoyed by the homeless and Karl brings back Rockbusters for the last show.

Karl tries to get his head round Einstein’s theory of relativity and reveals his Peeping Tom night time activities. There’s two bits of “Monkey News” this week, monkeys washing potatoes in the sea and a monkey football team.

Peepington

Karl: D'you know like the last flat that I lived in, I always had a good view across the road and I could see, there was the hairy... Steve: There was the Hairy Chinese Kid. Karl: Well not the Hairy Chinese Kid, he was just a Chinese kid, right, actually. Ricky: Yeah coz that's rare innit, the Hairy Chinese Kid is very rare innit, there's only one official siting isn't there in one of those shit little magazines that you buy. Karl: Yeah, he was running around in his underpants. Steve: Sorry, you just swore ironically, I imagine if there's any newspapers listening, you did that coz it's sort of jokey. Ricky: Yeah, yeah, go on, that's not swearing. Karl: And there was the old woman who didn't move, she was just sat there reading a book all the time. Ricky: Who we think had possibly died and no one came round for weeks, yeah. Karl: And now I've moved, right, and it was quiet for a bit, I always look at what view I'm gettin, right, looked across and it was just sort of empty flats ready for people to move in n' that, right, anyway people are in there now, right, and they've put all the furniture in but haven't put any curtains up. Steve: Oooh. Karl: So anyway I'm sort of washing up just havin a look out the window, right, girl sort of wandering about with no knickers on, right. Steve: With no knickers on. Ricky: You mean naked? Karl: Well she had a bra on. Ricky: Right, okay. Steve: She was probably looking for her knickers. Karl: So I thought "oh!", and I don't know how long I was lookin but anyway she looks across, I think she spotted me and I think "Oh God!", and I felt really bad... Ricky: Sorry, is this some sort of Peeping Tom confession while The Telegraph are listening. Steve: (laughs) I've no idea. Ricky: Peepington. Karl: If I was peeping, she was peeping as well, coz she was looking over, works both ways dunnit. Ricky: Yeah but all she could see of you was your bald head. Steve: Yeah, and your hands moving as you were washing up. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: And some white looking substance frothing up. Ricky: (laughs) A particularly stubborn stain on this glass. Steve: Imagine that, imagine if she looked across, I'm assumimg your sink is lower than the window. Ricky: But didn't she just like, just cover up or something, or did she look back and go "Oh, are you looking at me fanny?" Steve: (laughs) Karl: Well, the thing I did... Ricky: What? Karl: I thought i'd just sort of drop me boxer shorts. Steve: What! What are you talking about! What are you talking about! Karl: No, just so she can sort of see the cheeks of me arse. Steve: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! Karl: Because I thought, if she thinks I'm sort of walking about in the nude as well then we've both got something out of it. Steve: KARL! Ricky: This sounds like a bad excuse in court. Steve: (laughs) I know, I know, or the plot of a film on Channel 5. Ricky: I mean this is like the doctor who got done for exposing himself to a patient and then painted that little thing that you look down their throat pink, and going "this is what they saw". Steve: (laughs) Yeah, yeah. Ricky: So sorry, you immediately, so you were looking at a woman dancing around naked, right, so you thought the only thing you could do was immediately drop your boxer shorts. Steve: So she looked across, saw you fully clothed, saw you take your boxer shorts off. Karl: No, no, she wouldn't have done because it's sort of just the top half and the sink's at a side angle, so I was sort of looking out... Steve: So she wouldn't have seen your trousers down anyway. Karl: No she did, I moved in front of the window more. Ricky: (laughs out loud) OH THIS IS AMAZING! Steve: So you climbed in front of the window to show off your naked lower half? Karl: Suzanne said "what are you doing?" Steve: I bet she did! Ricky: (laughs out loud) "What are you looking at?", "I'm just standing by the window taking my trousers down", "why?", "coz there's a naked woman across the road, what do you think I'm doing Suzanne, I'm exposing myself while looking at some free fanny, what's up with you Suzanne?" Karl: Leave it then, leave it. Ricky: Christ! Karl: Are we doing Rockbusters or what? Steve: (laughs) She sent you in there to read up on Einstein and comes in and finds that. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Oh brilliant! Steve: Wait a minute, let me just check, a final question, what was the woman across the way, what was her reaction? Karl: I didn't look again, I just thought you've had a bit of action as well, we're both happy, let's leave it. Ricky: Brilliant. Steve: So were you waddling around like a penguin with your trousers round your ankles. Karl: I was just walking about and Suzanne said "what are you doing?", I said "i'll explain to you in a bit but don't look out the window coz then it's obvious". Ricky: Excellent, and then he sees that she calls her husband to look at Karl walking around naked and he goes "oh, quick Suzanne, get 'em out, get some more friends, they've gone one more". Karl: Anyway. Ricky: Brilliant, right play a record and we'll come back to Rockbusters and Monkey News, we haven't got enough time, do Rockbusters, oh God almighty!