Ricky brings in birthday gifts given to him by Karl including bongos, maybe not the best idea. Karl is fascinated by the fact that Jonathan Ross once shaved his arse.

The guys have a good moan about London life and Karl gives his thoughts on foreign aid. Karl doesn’t like touching his balls and reckons the government are listening to the show for ideas.

There’s two Cheeky Freaks of the Week, a kid born with four eyes and the smallest man in the world. This weeks Monkey news involves a health spa for chimps which is run by chimps.

Tom Thumb

Karl: The main "Cheeky Freak of the Week", I haven't got all the details, smallest person ever, right, how big would you say that is? Ricky: Karl is now sort of holding his hands up like a fisherman long ways, that's about 1 foot. Karl: Right, smallest man in the world, I printed the thing off and I can't find it, there's a little picture of him, right, the odd thing was... Ricky: Why have you asked me how, did it say or was there a picture of him? Karl: I didn't really read it. Ricky: Oh for... Steve: Of course you didn't, of course you didn't. Karl: I just saw it and thought... Ricky: What and straight away you assumed it was natural size? Karl: It was that big. Ricky: What d'you mean it was that big! Karl: Little fella, like that. Ricky: But why are you doing, what, what, it was a page with a little fella, how do you know it was natural size? Karl: No it was, coz it said "world's smallest man", and the funny thing is I remember, I read the first line, I always read the first line, it said "world's smallest man". Ricky: Well done, well done. Karl: The weird thing is he's got a head like light bulb. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Karl: The shape of it apparently, I don't know if that's got anything to do with his shape and size. Ricky: Oh god, his name's Mr Watts. Karl: And the annoying thing is, what got me is, if you're that big, right, don't have your picture taken next to a fruit bowl. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Why was he having his picture taken next to a fruit bowl? Karl: Dunno, whoever the photographer was obviously having a bit of a laugh at his expense, coz you would just stand in the middle of nowhere looking normal n' that, but he was stood there just leaning on an apple. Ricky: (laughs) Leaning on an apple! Steve: Leaning on an apple! Ricky: What is this, in what world do you inhabit? Karl: This was on the internet. Ricky: (laughs) Leaning on an apple! Steve: Leaning on an apple! Ricky: Was it Tom Thumb? What is this, are you sure it wasn't some sort of sci-fi show they were advertising? Karl: No, no. Ricky: "Sorry, can you just lean on the apple, just lean on the apple there, can you stand next to my chiwawa?", "you're not taking the piss are you?", "no, not at all no, do you mind leaning on this matchbox?". Steve: (laughs) Yeah. Ricky: Leaning on an apple? And that's what it said, so it just said here's the world's smallest man leaning on an apple? Karl: Smallest man, said about his head being like a light bulb, I don't know what that meant, and I just thought right that'll do, that's that sorted, cheeky freak of the week done, I think that was like on Monday, right, I found that, I thought that's done, printed it off, forgot to get it off the photocopier, someone's nicked it. Ricky: Play a record.