Ricky lost £400 during the week which reminds Steve of the time he stole money from a cash point when someone left their card in it. He also reveals that he gets embarrassed when buying toilet paper.

Ricky is annoyed by holidays that were literally invented by card companies in order to make money which reminds Karl of his dad’s theory about the death of Princess Diana.

Karl talks about another baby who had a baby, a Viking called “Harry the Boneless” and the weirdest couple ever married. He also leaves early to go on yet another holiday.

Conspiracy

Ricky: Steve, I think Karl is gonna put most people to shame, we were talking about generosity earlier, Karl is a nice generous bloke when it really comes to it, he's paying for father's day, he's paying for the cottage that he's going away with his dad. Steve: Are you really Karl? Karl: Yeah. Steve: Well there's no way of proving if that's really true or not. Karl: Well what d'you mean? Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Well you could be lying. Karl: But why would I do that? Steve: Well because you want to show off. Karl: I didn't do it on air, you mentioned it, I don't want people to know how generous I am. Ricky & Steve: (laugh) Karl: Just do it, just get on with it, you know what I mean? Ricky: Like charity work n' that. Karl: Yeah, exactly. Ricky: But I thought you wouldn't have fallen for father's day, I would have thought you would have known... Karl: Well I don't, to be honest it's a bit of a coincidence, I'm paying for it anyway and it's happened to fall on father's day. Ricky: Don't fall for it, obviously that and mother's day and a plethora of other things were I mean literally invented by card companies to make more money. Karl: I know, me dad always says don't get him a card or anythin coz he hates it, with all these things that are like rip off times really, just ripping people off. Steve: Sounds a bit stingy, doesn't it? Karl: No, no, he's right, coz fellas aren't that bothered about getting cards anyway are they, but the other thing he noticed, you know, helping out the flower companies, the Princess Diana thing, she... Ricky: Oh for, sorry, Jesus, Karl what do you mean, what do you mean? Karl: That's what he said. Ricky: I nearly swore then coz I was, you surprise me all the time but that is incredible. Steve: Sorry what, I don't understand, what are you talking about? Karl: All the flowers that were sort of sold that day... Steve: Right, for people to leave as a commemoration. Karl: They made a mint didn't they. Steve: Who did? Karl: Flower companies. Steve: Right, so what are you saying? Karl: So he's just saying it makes you wonder. Steve: About what? Ricky: What whether it was Interflora behind the hit. Steve: So it's a conspiracy, it's a conspiracy by the flower companies. Ricky: I would love to see you and your dad just sitting at home watching a bit of channel 5, "When Apes Go Mental". Karl: When's that on, when's that on? Ricky: (laughs out loud) And then it's something like "you know who killed Diana don't you, flower companies son", "quite right dad, you're not wrong", what are you talking about? Karl: No, no, I'm not, I'm just saying it's like you were saying about the cards. Steve: Convenient, coincidence, too much of a coincidence, too much of a coincidence. Karl: I'd be interested to see sort of like the business graph on how the companies were doin, then suddenly (Karl whistles), d'you know what I mean? Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: But by the same token, Elton John, you know he had the biggest selling hit record didn't he off the back of that, I mean so is he incriminated as well? Karl: If you want. Ricky & Steve: (laugh out loud) Steve: It's a conspiracy theory you've not kind of analysed terribly closely, you've put it out there and if people who are investigating want to kind of add that to their enquiries then they can.

Another Baby's Had a Baby

Karl: Listen, remember the time i told you about the baby that had a baby. Steve: The baby that had a baby. Karl: Yeah. Karl: It's happened again. Steve: (laughs) Ricky: No it hasn't. Steve: Well it didn't happen the first time. Karl: It was in the papers I think on Monday, in all the tabloids. Ricky: So it's a twin where one has grown and the other one is still at a fetal level. Karl: No it wasn't though it had grown, he was saying to his mam... Ricky: Who was saying to his mum. Karl: The little kid, he was 7 years old. Ricky: He! And he was pregnant? Karl: Yeah. Steve: (laughs) Karl: I know. Ricky: What d'you mean? Karl: And he was saying to his mam "oh I don't feel well", and like his belly was all swollen and they just thought he'd been eating cake or whatever, and he was saying "I can feel something moving about", and they were like "stop messing about, there's nowt wrong with ya", eventually I think he was in gym at school... Ricky: In Jim, what Jim was pregnant with him, oh no it's like a russian doll. Steve: (laughs) Karl: He was at school, right, just about to do sit-ups or whatever they do at school. Ricky: Yeah, threw out across the room. Karl: The teacher was like "you look a bit fat". Ricky: "You look a bit pregnant". Karl: And he said "best take you to the doctors", took him, they said "you're 7 years pregnant", or somethin like that. Ricky: What are you talking...! Steve: (laughs) What do you mean or something like that! Ricky: You're 7 years pregnant! Steve: Or something like that. Ricky: KARL! WHY DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT YOU SAY BEFORE YOU SAY IT! Karl: See the reaction I get, now the gazelle I didn't get excited like that. Ricky: (laughs out loud) 7 years pregant! Karl: Send it in, if someone's online at the moment just havin a look around, it happened on Monday or Tuesday, coz I told you at the pub quiz didn't I Steve, I said to ya "another baby's had a baby". Steve: Yeah. Karl: And you were like "yeah, whatever". Steve: Well I just thought you were talking nonsense as ever. Ricky: You're 7 years pregnant, you're a fool, play a record.