Dr Fox comes in to discuss why they won nothing at the Sony’s but Ricky takes comfort from the fact that listening figures have gone up by a third. Karl talks about the staff at XFM going to a strip club which leads to a discussion about lap dancing.

Ricky talks about poetry you write in your teenage years which reminds Steve of the time he tried to impress a girl at school by reading “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”.

Karl has trouble sleeping and remembers laughing himself to sleep as a kid. He also recalls an embarrassing incident involving a fireman while on holiday in Spain.

Spanish Fireman

Karl: I remember once right, I don't know if I should talk about this really. Steve: Well that means you should so go on. Ricky: Go on. Karl: Right we went to Tenerife, right, one year when we were still livin in Manchester. Ricky: I'm scared now, the way he said that, I'm actually scared. Karl: I'm thinking about Suzanne but she's working. Ricky: Well I don't want to know anything about Suzanne to be honest. Steve: Shhh, come on, no but come on. Karl: It involves me more. Ricky: Go on. Steve: Let's hear the story. Karl: But I'm just explaining to ya that I don't like being nude. Steve: Yeah, so your in Tenerife. Karl: In Tenerife, didn't have that much money, stayed in this apartment that wasn't that nice, right, it had cockroaches and stuff right, didn't have much money to go out at night so we're in this sort of deathtrap of an apartment right, anyway it was when I was younger right, had a bit more energy, so... Ricky: (laughs) Sounds like he's 80. Steve: He's 30. Karl: So you know, start having it away a bit. Ricky: (laughs out loud) It's a joy. Steve: Beautiful. Ricky: (laughs) Having it away, I love it, go on. Karl: So, you know, doing what I do, someone starts banging on the door. Steve: Everyone's at it. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Right, someone's knocking at the door. Karl: Knocking at the door, right, so Suzannes says "you better get it", I said "well I can't get it now can I, i'll have to wait a bit, I can't open the door". Ricky: (laughs) Steve: Go on. Karl: So the bangings getting louder, someone at the door and she's like "hurry up, it must be important", and I'm like "in a minute". Steve: (laughs) In a minute! Ricky: (laughs) I don't wanna know anymore. Karl: Open the door, it's a fireman, so I just stick me head round and he's going "you'll have to get out, the building's on fire", right, so I'm like "in a minute". Ricky: Sorry, you weren't still having sex at this point? Karl: No, no, but still sort of gotta wait a minute or a can't get me pants on. Steve: (laughs) Ricky: Oh Karl, I wish I hadn't, I'm so sorry to the listener. Steve: Go on, so now the place is burning down. Karl: So it could be a serious big fire going on, I'm sort of waiting, you can hear people sort of screaming n' that, panicking. Steve: Is that because the door's open and your nude? Karl: The fireman's saying "will you get out, will you get out", I'm saying "in a minute", and Suzanne was saying, you know, "think of somethin that's not sexy", so I was thinking of people, you know, thinking maybe dying in a fire might sort of calm me down. Ricky: Did the fireman say "if we need a big pole". Steve: Yeah, sure, go on. Karl: But what I'm saying is that to me, I wouldn't have wanted to go out and be safe over, d'you know what I mean, over being naked, I don't like walking about with nowt on, so what I'm saying is... Ricky: (laughs) I love the idea of everyone huddled and the camera pans along and there's Karl just naked still standing proud. Steve: Yeah, a local news report Karl: Would you have gone out with nowt on? Steve: But why do I have to go with nowt on, I'd just grab a pair of jeans. Karl: Alright but you've just, you know. Ricky: What? Steve: There's a fire Karl! Ricky: See not everyone looks at men's packets, that's only you remember, most of the other fireman wouldn't be going "ooh, look at him, he's pleased to see us". Steve: But Karl, how long did it take and did the thought of dying in a fire help? Karl: After a bit, but the fireman sort of had a go at me. Ricky: What do you mean? Karl: Well he wasn't happy coz I was dawdling Ricky: Well to be fair. Karl: But what can you do! Steve: Answers on a postcard to the usual address, XFM care of Leicester Square. Ricky: (laughs out loud)