Karl believes rich people are more worried about war and that terrorism has its advantages. “Crosswords” has been renamed “Songs of Phrase” by a listener but Ricky doesn’t want to play it this week.

Karl is unimpressed by the film “Freaks” but uses the subject to launch a hilarious attack on Steve’s looks. The guys chat about transsexuals much to Karl’s confusion.

Karl talks about one of his uncles who has an unusual sleeping and tv watching arrangement, he also gets excited about a new invention involving attaching mops to cats.

Freaky Steve

Steve: Now it's intriguing to me because here's a film called "Freaks" featuring real life freaks and you're sort of a bit nonplussed by it. Karl: Just because it wasn't, because it's built up, if you call a video "Freaks" you gotta make that there's some good stuff on there. Steve: Yeah. Ricky: What were you disappointed about? Karl: Because there was a few things on it right, there was a woman who said she was half man half woman and it was like, well you're not are you, it was just like she had some make up on and I thought well that's rubbish, and then there was a woman who could eat using her feet, that isn't that freaky, d'you know what I mean, if she's not hungry she looks normal. Steve: (laughs out loud) Karl: And that's when I was thinking, I mean I'm not being, right Steve, you know I'm not being funny. Steve: Oh, here we go. Karl: No, no, no, I'm just saying if that woman wasn't eating and you were sat next to her in that film, I'd probably be sort of drawn to you more than her. Ricky: (sniggers in background) Karl: I'm not, I know you hate me saying it but there's no point sort of pretending, d'you know what I mean. Ricky: (continues to snigger) Steve: Oi Mutley, what are you sniggering about! Ricky: (laughs) That, that, the fact that he's, you mean there are things in it that were less, what are you saying? Karl: I'm just saying... Steve: Play a record! Seriously i'll slap you, I'm gonna slap you live on air. Karl: Yeah but you always get... Steve: Right I'm slapping you live on air I swear to god. Karl: I'll play a song then. Ricky: He's playing a song.

Cat Mops

Karl: I was looking, you know I'm a fan of going on the web n' that. Ricky: Sure. Karl: There's inventions, right, we were talking about it a few weeks ago, inventions that are out there and some that are well known by famous people who've brought stuff out. Ricky: D'you know why we didn't go on with this, coz I remember saying to you about Einstein, who d'you think is cleverer, you weren't impressed by it, and you went, this is a quote, you went "Einstein, well yeah, now I've never needed", you got it wrong, you went "I've never needed MC squared in me life, but the fella who made the video recorder, I watch one a week". Steve: (laughs) Karl: That's right. Ricky: Brilliant. Karl: And it's the fact that everybody has got one good idea in 'em, right, like Newton said about the apple, I did Rockbusters. Steve & Ricky: (laugh) Steve: Yeah, so they shouldn't be spending money on investigating sort of medical procedures that might help people, they should be spending it on what Karl? Karl: Well I found this thing right, Ricky, brilliant. Ricky: Yeah. Karl: What it was, little sort of mops. Steve: (laughs out loud) Ricky: What? Karl: Little mops, little mopheads. Steve: Like floor mops. Karl: Yeah, fit 'em on your cat feet. Ricky & Steve: (laugh) Karl: Right if you've got a little cat, put these little things on their feet, and there was a picture of one, and it was walking aroud the kitchen, like that, looking a little bit like that. Ricky: You can't do looking like that on the radio. Karl: Well it was looking a little bit fed up but it didn't really know what was going on, walking around, you see like the woman of the house sat there in the background havin a cup of tea, the cat's there walking about on the kitchen lino, moping the floor. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Karl: That's what I'd put me money into. Ricky: Can we get shares in this. Steve: (laughs) Now that's an invention. Karl: How good is that. Ricky: Can we get shares in that. Karl: It's good though innit. Ricky: I'll tell you what, i'll market that, that's amazing.