Karl is tired because he’s been up late watching a Dracula film and wonders why his hair always looks okay even though he can’t see in the mirror.

Ricky and Steve resurrect an old phone in quiz from their early days at XFM but Karl isn’t overly impressed by it. Karl makes his first of three appearances acting alongside Jack Nicholson this time in “The Shining”.

Ricky has an amusing meeting with a foreign student and Karl talks about a baby who had a baby. The guys discuss the intelligence of bonobos and this weeks “Monkey News” is about a monkey foiling a robbery in a train station.

Mancula

Ricky: Look at him yawning, how rude is that. Steve: Karl, what's wrong with you man, have you been up late? Karl: Little bit. Steve: Girlfriend was away wasn't she yesterday? Karl: Yeah, I always have a problem with that coz you don't go to bed do ya, early, d'you know what I mean, you sort of think... Steve: What! Karl: I just always find that thing that if, you know, you're livin with someone one of you will go let's go to bed then, you'll go alright, but when you're on your own... Steve: You just forget to go to bed. Karl: I just stay up. Ricky: She goes "stop eating now Karl, you've ate all the food, that's just the plate". Karl: No, I stayed up and watched, there was a thing on about Dracula. Steve: (laughs) Oh right, what Dracula? Karl: And I found a flaw in it. Steve: Go on. Ricky: Not the fact that he's the living dead and drinks blood to stay alive and he doesn't reflect. Karl: Well, the mirror thing, he can't look in mirrors, can he? Steve: Well he can look in mirrors but he can't see himself in a mirror. Karl: That still doesn't work. Ricky: It doesn't work at all Karl. Karl: His centre parting is always really neat. Steve: His centre parting is always really neat? Ricky: (laughs) How does he do it if he can't look in the mirror. Karl: "Blood on the Floor" or something is was called, rubbish. Ricky: (laughs) I love the flaw in the Dracula film is that his centre parting is too neat, how did he do it without a mirror. Steve: Was it a documentary about Dracula? Ricky: The real Dracula, the real Dracula. Steve: Yeah, the real Dracula, the true story. Karl: No it was just a film, "Blood on the Floor" or something is was called, it was rubbish, from 1970. Steve: Yeah, but you stayed up and watched that? Ricky: You know there aren't really vampires in that sense. Karl: Yeah, yeah. Ricky: Yeah but it still annoyed you that his centre parting was too neat. Karl: Well if you're gonna do it, d'you know what I mean. Ricky: I'd like to see him with a fringe sort of pushed forward and maybe a hood up "alright, I've come to suck your blood n' that, alright". Steve: Yeah, just bits of tissue paper all over his face where he's cut himself shaving. Ricky: "Oh, I can't see in bloody mirror, it's annoying me", I'd love to see that, a little Manc Drac, that would be great wouldn't it, Mancula, Count Mancula, "alright, you got any rave, you got any rave music, you got any Oasis", that would be brilliant, "he came from Manchester, please welcome Mancula", that would be great wouldn't it, his hair's a mess, "well I can't see in mirror".

Baby who had a baby

Karl: When I was looking on the web, I found somethin out. Ricky: Go on. Karl: It's a story about a woman who had a baby, who had a baby. Ricky & Steve: (laugh out loud) Steve: What are you talking about? Ricky: What! Karl: A woman who had a baby who was havin a baby. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: It was no clearer when you repeated it. Ricky: No, Karl! I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do for the common good, right, pursue this line of enquiry, right, coz I don't know where it's going or play a record, I'm actually torn, I don't know what to do. Karl: No, I remember seeing it and thinking I've got to tell Ricky about that, it's brilliant. Ricky: What shall we do, shall we go with it? It's entering into the abyss, it's opening Pandora's box, it's going down to the cellar. Steve: I've got a couple of questions though. Ricky: Go on then. Steve: Well come down there with me, come down to the cellar with me. Ricky: Ok, right Karl, first of all what do you mean, the baby was what, had another baby, she didn't give birth, the doctor didn't find a set of one of those Chinese dolls up her, Russian dolls whatever they're called? Karl: That's what I pictured it like, those dolls where you take the head off and there's another one in there that all look the same, but no, the story was there's a woman who's... Ricky: No, just don't say it again, that's a headline, that's not a story, there was a woman who had a baby who had a baby, that's not a story, imagine handing that in as a thesus to the BMA, "there you are look, there you go, read that". Steve: That's a children's rhyme. Ricky: Yeah, there was a woman who had a baby who had a baby, what do you mean, so she had a baby, right, yeah? Steve: That bit's fine, we're ok with that. Ricky: That's normal, that's normal. Steve: A woman had a child, she gave birth, fine, next. Karl: Well I don't know that much more apart from the fact that the baby's roaming about and then 12 months later... Ricky: Interesting, so the gestation period of that baby was actually 3 months more than an adult. Karl: Yeah. Ricky: Excellent. Karl: Weird though, innit. Ricky: So was the headline "My baby's 12 months pregnant"? What are you talking about 12 months later, what are you talking about? Karl: Forget it. Ricky: No, you haven't even finished the story, you said "and 12 months later", you didn't even finish the sentence, so what do you mean? Karl: No I didn't really read anymore into it because... Ricky: You didn't read, what! Karl: I just thought that's weird then I just was thinking imagine the kid at school, at parent's evening. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: Go on. Karl: And it's like "well your kid's pretty good now let's have a look at your work". Steve: (laughs) Karl: Don't you think that would be weird. Ricky: But what, did the child have a baby? Karl: Yeah. Ricky: OF COURSE IT DIDN'T! PLAY A RECORD! Steve: We shouldn't have gone down in the cellar, we should've just left the cellar door closed, I never learn.