The guys discuss an appearance by Siamese twins on an episode of “Trisha”. Karl comes up with the ludicrous idea that one of the twins had been adopted which prompts a little skit from Ricky and Steve.

This week’s “Karl in a Film” is “The Graduate”, Ricky and Steve are annoyed that Karl bought the VHS version to giveaway instead of the DVD. Karl brings up a discussion he had with Steve during the week regarding “the infinite monkey theory”.

Ricky comes up with the name “Monkey News”, this week Karl talks about a chimp nicking DVDs in Hackney. Karl comes up with a classic rockbusters involving a Jamaican fella swinging fish around his head.

Infinite Monkeys

Karl: When I was out last Sunday right at Johnny's birthday party, Steve was there, got talking about stuff and a debate that we really didn't finish cropped up. Steve: It blew your mind didn't it? Karl: Amazing. Ricky: Oh I know about this, Steve told me, this is the infinite amount of monkeys, or a monkey with a typewriter and an infinite amount of time would eventually come up with the works of Shakespeare. Karl: Yeah. Ricky: It was no debate, it's a philosophical, mathematical problem, there's no debate, it's true. Karl: It wouldn't happen. Ricky: No, listen Karl, listen, infinity sorts it all out for ya, right, an infinite amount of monkeys at a typewriter, right, they would do, they'd do everything, they'd type everything, infinity just sorts it all out for ya, there's no getting to it and they go "oh well, let's have a look at what they've done, this one's come close, he's done Romeo and Juliop", it would do it all, it would type everything ever possible, conceivable. Karl: Yeah, but... Steve: Well, we've heard your side of the argument Rick. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: And i'll be honest with you it's a persuasive one, but let's hear Karl because he heard about this in a pub last week so he's got some strong ideas himself. Ricky: What's your problem with it, what's your problem with it? Karl: Well first of all right, you're saying it's a load of monkeys, it's not just one monkey that's typing there forever. Ricky: Depends, it's either a chimpanzee with a typewriter with an infinite amount of time, he would eventually by definition, mathematically type everything ever possible, ok, or it's an infinite amount of chimps with typewriters and one of them will type it first time. Karl: But already that's, that's sort of, that's not right, you either need to have one monkey.... Ricky: What d'you mean that's not right? Steve: Just hear him out please. Karl: If it's one monkey... Ricky: Yeah. Karl: With a typewriter that's got loads of ink in it n' that, right, at least it knows what it's done in the past. Ricky: Don't... Steve: Keep going. Karl: If you've got a load of monkeys, it's like, it's like if you have to many, what's that saying about too many chefs? Ricky: Too many chimps spoil the soup. Karl: Right, well it's the same thing, I didn't tell you to put salt in it, I was gonna put salt in it, and it messes it up, whereas if it's just one they know what's gone on, so what I'm saying is... Ricky: I, I, I, I can't be bothered Steve. Steve: Just leave him go, I want to hear the rest. Ricky: This blows my mind, he doesn't know what this does to me, it's a mathematical problem. Steve: I want to hear the rest. Karl: Well it's just that I don't think it will happen. Ricky: What do you mean you don't think it will happen! Infinity works it out for ya, by definition. Karl: Well what's stopping them typin the same thing again. Ricky: They would, in fact the problem should be if you had an infinte amount of time it would type the works of Shakespeare an infinte amount of times and everything else an infinite amount of times, but you know that's just, that's, that's not as.... Karl: But not Shakespeare. Ricky: OH SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! Steve: Rick d'you know what he said to me, I said to him that, I explained it to him, I said you've got an infinite amount of monkeys, an infinite number of typewriters, they will type the complete works of Shakespeare, he said "have they read Shakespeare?". Ricky: (laughs out loud) You're an idiot! Play a record coz I'm not havin this conversation, I'm not havin it, I'm not havin it coz it really, really winds me up. Karl: But you're saying they'll do it with no spelling errors. Ricky: Well they'll do it an infinite amount of times and they'll do it wrong a infinite amount of times and they'll spell the last full stop wrong an infinite amount of times and they'll get one thing wrong in Hamlet an infinte amount of times, they'll do everything an infinte amount of times. Karl: But are they going off a story... Steve: (laughs out loud) Ricky: Play a record Karl coz I'm gonna knock you out. Karl: But I'm just saying... Ricky: Shut up!