Karl is solving knob related problems posed to him by Ricky and tells a story about a woman who had her head chopped off and put back on again. He also has advice in case another war kicks off.

Steve never learns as once again he reckons he’s in with a chance of winning the top 50 most eligible bachelor’s poll. Karl reveals his clever ploy to avoid getting into trouble as a kid and talks about his brother’s womanising exploits.

Ricky does some awful “Only Fools and Horses” impressions and names Karl’s new feature “Chimpanzee That”. Karl is worried that the world is getting too heavy as we’re building too much stuff.

Head

Karl: Lookin round in the week at weird stuff on the internet, there's this woman who's got a big head. Steve: Oh yeah. Karl: And erm, she was fed up with it because when she was walking down the street it was so big she couldn't hold it up. Ricky: (laughs) Oh god, oh god's sake. Steve: Ok, shut up, she couldn't hold it up. Karl: So when she was walking her eyes were hurtin because she had to sort of look up all the time coz her head was that heavy, her chin was sort of balanced on her chest. Steve: Right, and she'd have to peek up, yeah. Karl: So she goes to the doctors, and this was after years and years and she said well I thought I could put up with it but I can't. Ricky: How big was her head? Steve: It's big Rick. Karl: I don't know if it was like big coz there weren't a picture, I don't know if it was just big or a lot of bone, so it was heavy. Steve: Very heavy. Ricky: Yeah, like the Elephant Man, outcrops. Karl: So the doctor said, yeah we can sort that out, but we'll have to take your head off. Ricky: Right. Steve: Keep going, keep going. Karl: Coz I'm, again, what you don't seem to understand is I have the same reaction to you when I see it. Steve: Yeah, you're quizzical yourself. Karl: So they looked at it, took her head off, chipped away a bit of the bone, made her head lighter, put it back on. Steve: (laughs out loud) Ricky: Right, play The Smiths, this is "Ask". Steve: (laughs) They took a woman's head off!

Lego

Karl: D'you know Lego bricks? Steve: Oh yeah. Karl: The name came about coz some kid's mam, the kid was messin with the bricks and she said "leggo of them and come and have your dinner". Ricky: Play a record! Steve: Gotta be rubbish, it's got to be rubbish. Karl: It's always rubbish innit whenever I say anythin. Ricky: They're Scandanavian for a start. Karl: It's always rubbish. Ricky: Leggo of them!