Karl is worried about his upcoming MTV screen test because of his looks, this leads on to a discussion about which men Karl finds attractive with obvious consequences.

Karl is unhappy with this week’s “Educating Ricky” as there isn’t much going on in the World, except there’s a car wash for dogs. He also casually reveals he almost killed a man.

Steve sees a homeless man reading a book which somehow leads to a discussion about rent boy themed holidays. Karl talks about a foul mouthed parrot and explains the derivation of the phrase “letting the cat out of the bag”.

Foul Mouthed Parrot

Ricky: This isn't a radio show is it, I just suddenly caught myself, this is nothing. Karl: I've told you before it's been bad today. Ricky: No but I mean it's the way, the casual way that we almost have no regard for our listeners, I'm not proud of that, I just don't know what to do about it. D'you know what I mean, I don't know how to do this properly, I mean we're just chattin here, it's only Anderson who's seen through us and that surprises me that more people haven't, I mean what are the figures like, do people listen to this show? Karl: Well i'll find out for ya. Ricky: You keep saying that. Karl: But yeah there's this parrot... Ricky & Steve: (laugh) Steve: I mean Rick it's unique if nothing else. Ricky: (laughs out loud) Steve: When you wake up with Wogan tomorrow you're not even gonna hear him start with "there was this parrot". Ricky: Go on, there was this parrot, yeah. Karl: And it can talk n' that, someone's obviously taught it how to speak n' that, it flew away and it's living in this church right, and people are at the church doing hymns n' that... Steve: Troubles brewing. Ricky: If that parrot was owned by an old miner who used to swear a lot then the vicar is gonna be really annoyed. Steve: I just hope it stays quiet Rick during the vicar's sermons. Ricky: Yeah go on. Karl: Have you read it? Ricky: (laughs) No, go on. Have you read it! Karl: Coz that's what happened, durin the hymns it's sort of 'effin and jeffin' and stuff. Ricky: (laughs) Effin and Jeffin! Karl: And everyone's going like "awh you know, it's quite funny really, it doesn't know what it's doing", everyone's havin a laugh, but it's causing a havoc at funerals. Ricky & Steve: (laugh) Steve: When did this happen? Karl: Not years ago. Ricky: "And John was a much loved man", (in a parrot's voice) "He was a wanker". Steve: (laughs) Yeah. Ricky: "What can you say about Uncle John", "Bollocks". Oh Karl I love the way when you look at things you think "that's interesting, a parrot that swears at funerals" and it stays with you, you see for a simple man you retain an awful lot of knowledge, it's just all rubbish, d'you know what I mean, if you just replace all this rubbish with good stuff you'd be an intellectual really, coz I mean your retention is fantastic. Karl: Yeah.