Ricky and Steve remind the listeners who Karl is by asking a few difficult questions such as “What age are you?”. They also describe some of the freakish kids Karl went to school with.

Karl tells a ridiculous story about a doctor and some parrots, explains the derivation of the phrase “Throwing the baby out with the bath water” and comes up with a new feature called “What’s the Song”.

Ricky and Steve are not impressed with Karl’s new quiz, even more so when a caller claims he ripped off the idea from Simon Mayo. Steve is sceptical about Ricky taking up boxing and reminds him that he once almost choked to death on some dust.

Age

Ricky: Well to re-introduce or introduce people for the first time to Karl, I think we should have a... Steve: Yeah maybe just a quick Q & A Karl, we don't need lengthy answers from you, we don't need lots of detail, you know just a couple of sentences. Ricky: To get a flavour of who you are. Steve: Firstly name obviously Karl Pilkington. Age Karl? Karl: I'll be uh, i'll be 30 next month. Steve: Really? Karl: This month, no next, where are we? Steve & Ricky: (laugh out loud) Steve: I don't think we need to ask anymore questions. Ricky: I think we've done it, I think we've done it there. Steve: Welcome to the world of Karl Pilkington. Ricky: I thought it would take 3 or 4 questions to really explain what Karl was about. Steve: Absolutely incredible.

Heaven

Steve: If heaven exists Karl, when you get to the pearly gates what would you like god to say to you as he welcomes you into heaven, what would you like god to say to you? Karl: Say "you alright", dunno just be friendly.

Parrots

Ricky: Can you tell Stephen about the doctor? Steve: Oh god. Is this something that happened to a friend of yours? Karl: No, no, I read about it. There's this little lad right, first of all it's years ago right when they didn't have decent doctors in like every town n' that and this little kid he's dead ill right and the local doctor... Ricky: Well there's a phone call involved so I don't want you to give the impression that it's medieval times. Karl: Yeah but I didn't say that I said it's years ago, so this kid's ill right and he's lying in the bed and he's all like going a funny colour n' that, and his mam says I'm gonna get the local doctor round, the local doctor comes round and says "oof, dunno, dunno what's up with him", he said "leave it with me". Ricky: (laughs) Leave it with me. Steve: Leave it with me, what the doctor said that? Karl: Yeah, he said i'll phone up a top doctor who was in America or somewhere like that, and he goes to the phone in his office and he calls America and coz it's years ago the phone line isn't that good, it's all crackly n' that right, so he's talking to the doctor and he's saying "I've got this kid, he's a funny color and you know he's really weak n' that". Steve: He's not giving him much to go on. Karl: Right so the American doctor right he goes "yeah, what you wanna do", and it's all breaking up, he goes "what you gotta do, you gotta", it's all breaking up, "you gotta give him some parrots blood". Steve: Some parrots blood? Karl: Well that's what he thought he said but the line was really bad, he meant parents blood, but he heard that he said parrots blood, he said "right i'll do that, leave it with me". Steve: Oh god, I can see where this is going. Karl: He goes, he goes to a pet shop, he says like "give us half a dozen parrots". Steve: Sure. Karl: Takes them round to the kids house, takes the blood from the parrots, puts it into the kid, the kid's fine. Steve: The kids fine? Karl: It worked. Ricky: (laughs) I've never heard such a load of shite in my life, such twaddle, such just made up, enhanced, exaggerated bollocks in my life. Steve: What a load of old rubbish Karl!