Karl believes the Queen Mum had a right mouth on her. The guys win a bronze at the Sony Radio Awards which leads Steve to talk about the silver he once won in a high jump competition.

Karl used to have the hair of a Chinaman and does his Room 101. His pet hates include rich girls with fat ankles and politeness in 24 hour convenience stores. He also chats about Egypt blokes stealing shoes from lizards or something.

Karl recalls his early showbiz days, this time a talent competition where surprise surprise he went down a storm again. He remembers his jealousy when his girlfriend was hit on by a midget while on holiday.

Hair

Ricky: Karl when you were a little Pilkington right, if you had hair what would it be like? Karl: What d'you mean? Steve: Well you obviously had hair back then, what was the style? Karl: It was ike sort of, I had quite sort of fine sort of straight hair, hairdresser once said to me "you've got the hair of a Chinaman". Ricky: (laughs out loud) He was a wise man wasn't he? What did you think that meant then?

Walk Like an Egyptian

Karl: I'm not a good singer, I've never been into singing, I've never done a live singing thing before. Ricky: Haven't ya? Not even in a talent competition? Karl: I did do. Ricky: What did you do? Karl: I did "Walk like an Egyptian" by the Bangles and I mimed, dressed up as a woman. Ricky: (laughs out loud) How old were ya? Karl: I think it was when I was still goin 'a school, so it was like 12. Ricky: And sorry where was the, why did you do that, what did you mime to and why were you dressed as a woman? Where's the logic in this is what I'm saying Karl. What sort of act was this? Karl: I think I was meant to get hold of some like Egyptian outfit, couldn't, so I looked in me mam's wardrobe and I had a dress... Ricky: Dress and a fez, carrying some lizards, that'll do it won't it? Karl: I had some boots and a wig on. Ricky: (laughs) And how did you dance, look he looks confused, he's suddenly confused. Steve: He's confused by his own act. Karl: The best bit was I also, it was like a proper talent show, d'you know where you cover it all, so I did like the dancin and the mimin, and then I also did a bit of magic, where I had like a cloth right and I had it over me hand like that and the crowd were goin "Oh god, what's he gonna do?". Ricky: (laughs out loud) Oh god. Steve: (laughs) Of course they were. Ricky: They weren't sayin that, the crowd goin "Oh what's the great Pilkoni gonna do?". Karl: So what I did was, I was stood there teasin 'em. Steve: Teasing the audience? Karl: Yeah, and I said I'm gonna make a bird appear in front of your very eyes, and I pulled the tea towel off and I just had hold of an egg and I said "Oh, it isn't born yet", they loved it. Ricky: He's so proud of that, look at his face. Steve: Did come up with that yourself? Did you have any help at all? Karl: No. Steve: So you did "Walk like an Egyptian" dressed as a woman and then you did the egg trick. Karl: And then I was also playin like a janitor, because when the next person was singing I'd come on and all the electric went off and I came on going "Oh has anyone got 50p for the metre?". Ricky: Oh you were quite a little showman weren't ya? Did you win? Steve: Are you sure you weren't actually employed as the janitor? Ricky: Did you win? Karl: No I think we came second, this really tarty girl who did Madonna "Like a Virgin", and I thought yeah right, like you are, she was a right ropey little woman. Ricky: (laughs) Sour grapes!