Karl finds a cure for cancer in a packet of biscuits, Steve had an unfortunate encounter with Richard Wilson at an awards show. Karl explains his lack of education is down to frequent caravan holidays to Wales.

Ricky shows off his interview skills with Steve and reveals he’s been invited onto the TV show “Room 101”. One of his pet hates is people who are annoying, hmmm. Steve is annoyed by a recent visit to the cinema.

Pop Idol is discussed, they ponder whether Will Young or Gareth Gates will win, remember them? They also reveal China has a terrifying weapon.

Memory

Steve: Anythin that you can remember from school that you learnt that you had to maybe memorise? Karl: French? Steve: Not necessarily French... Ricky: Anything, anything you can remember, this can be anything you can remember from school. Apart from the orange stuff stops cancer. Karl: It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in. Ricky: (laughs) Play a record.

Interview

Ricky: Right, now I'm gonna interview Steve, you know coz I used to be a chat show host, well I am a chat show host. Steve: Well... Ricky: Well did you see "Meet Ricky Gervais"? Steve: No. I worked on it and I didn't watch it, no one watched it. Ricky: (laughs) That's true, that's terrible. Karl: I watched it. Ricky: What did you think Karl? Karl: I loved it. Ricky: See. Steve: Are you thinking of Parkinson? Karl: And I didn't know Ricky then so I'm being fair. Ricky: Yeah, well I'm gonna interview Steve Merchant now, live on air, XFM 104.9, we should say that more often. Steve: Yes, Ricky Gervais. Ricky: Coz they might tune in and think they've got hospital radio by mistake. Ok erm Steve Merchant... Steve: Hello. Ricky: Now erm you're a very tall man if I might say, you're 6 foot 7 aren't you? Steve: Yes. Ricky: Was that a bit of a problem at school? Steve: Well you know, a few jokes here and there, a bit of gentle ribbing but nothing too problematic. Ricky: What's the weather like up there? Skinny, all that sort of stuff, ooh you're lanky, oh dear. What about the glasses? Steve: Well I wear glasses but again it wasn't really a problem. Ricky: They didn't call you four eyes or anythin, they didn't call you four eyes freaky lank thing, they didn't call you freak pot, freaky the freakish gimp, four eyed git. Steve: All right, I'm not sure I'm enjoying this Rick. As an interview I'm not sure that's the best approach. Ricky: Ok ok, then you left school, you went to university, there were you called freaky... Steve: No I wasn't, I've never been called freaky four eyed git. Ricky: Are you sure? Steve: Never been called it. Ricky: Were you called freaky, lanky, four eyed, stupid haired, boggle eyed, freak face, fish face? Steve: Is your chat show coming back? Ricky: (laughs out loud)

Horses

Ricky: The thing is with Karl is right, I wanna give him gifts, I want him to have the loveliest christmas, I want him to go pony trekking... Karl: Scared of horses. Ricky: (laughs) Steve: So may things we don't know about Karl. Karl: Fell off one at a fete, and the woman didn't know what to do, she couldn't handle the horse, it was running off, I was hanging underneath, gettin a kick in the head. Ricky: Really? Steve: Now hang on, what age were you? Coz this could explain a lot. Karl: I was about six. Steve: That makes a lot of sense